Pep me, slug it out

simply chill to this hit, yeah, yeah, yeah!

2009-02-15T17:49:00.003+08:00

that silent treatment

2009-02-01T23:26:00.000+08:00

my head is in a mess.

call me silly, i think i'm pathetic.

everythin is turnin downhill from here.

and its all because of havin a heart.

if u choose to follow it, ur dead.

if u decide to use ur brain, ur screwed.

just give me something... anythin.

I can't feel anything

2009-01-08T02:11:00.002+08:00

let it go

2008-11-05T03:35:00.000+08:00

not knowing anything is better than knowing it halfway.

the suspense just kills you inside, slowly.

getting it outta ur head is easy,

the solution - keep urself busy.

using force is not an option.

let's just sit around and be patient.

get serious.

2008-11-03T13:06:00.000+08:00

my thoughts have run dry,

or probably i have loads on my mind.

i've got a feeling.

pls check my schedule...

2008-10-11T17:54:00.000+08:00

i have to admit that all my plans

are arranged by my friends from everywhere.

some that i don't even know of.

wow. i dint realise that i'm fully booked.

darn...

ask yourself...

2008-10-02T02:15:00.000+08:00

are you really actually living life,

to the fullest of your ability?

money power

2008-09-30T04:03:00.003+08:00

can anyone actually get sick of

shopping and splurging?

for glamour or for glory

2008-09-28T02:45:00.001+08:00

one, a passion. the other, an obsession.

how do i choose between the two?

dreams do come true, sometimes.

but the decision lies in you, all the time.

covered in chocolate

2008-09-27T00:40:00.000+08:00

it scares myself crazy to know

that i'm actually taking myself seriously.

its on your own will

2008-09-22T03:24:00.000+08:00

its not that i tend to give up easily

it may look as if i don't seem to care

but i just hate to get into an argument

& i don't want to get entangle in a disagreement

all i do is to keep telling myself...

i keep this in mind everytime i'm in a dilemma

'if its meant to be mine, it will be mine'.

don't hold back now

2008-09-18T00:33:00.002+08:00

wear this shirt and forget poverty,

munch these cookies and count urself lucky.

the world is coming to a close

and i'm about to start on my books.

sort those clothes, rearrange ur soul.

its time to move the mountains.

a lil' creepy for a lil' video

2008-09-02T01:41:00.002+08:00

it is a heart decision

2008-08-31T17:04:00.002+08:00

i came this close to watchin someone die

and everyone around me was so calm

am i too paranoid or just into it?

nobody can help me,

'cause we all have hearts with feelings.

50 first dates

2008-08-24T11:29:00.000+08:00

come what may, as they say

yeah, everyone made it through the day

its time to ruffle up our hair and scream!

we'll start off with a daydream...

officially marking a day of celebration -

brains dug out to have it washed with detergent.

the clock begins its tick right this minute

telling us to forget everyone whom we've met

to disremember everything that we've known so far

infecting humans with amnesia everywhere,

waking up feelin afresh and without having a care.

imagine every single day of reincarnations,

no boredom, no arguments, no frustrations.

come on now, what is the whole point?

just leave it all behind and don't stress urselves.

u'll understand that u are doing a good cause

...for yourself.

twinkle sparkle little light

2008-08-17T04:36:00.003+08:00

everyone is you, i am everybody.
we are all searchin for that one thing,
something to make us sane human beings.
it is right there in front of our naked eyes
but it just seems so far out of reach.
the alley is empty, the streetlamps are dim.
what can u make from those shadows?
flickerin tainted history flashes on
combined with crescendo waves of sound
cameras are here, microphones are near
hush. keep my secrets without fear.
they wanna indulge, u wanna divulge.
that explains it then, doesn't it.
nothing is ever safe from the devil's mouth.
lost in the keys of the piano,
carried away by a voice of an angel,
the heart is a very precious tool.
use it wisely or u'll end up losing ur soul.

lose it all.

2008-08-16T05:25:00.000+08:00

i don't do gym.
but i somehow did last night,
and i think its fun.
we shud do it agn sometime.
i've made a bet.
u're so gonna lose..
i just know you are. =P
i shud be tired and shagged by now,
but darn it, i am not.
i need somethin, anythin..
even bubble town on facebook is startin to bore me.

live dangerous. die safe.

2008-08-05T02:28:00.000+08:00

i am naughty.

and its all because of you.

my dad is so gonna kill me.

wow.. singfest was simply awesome.
even thru the sweat and heat,
jason mraz, panic! at the disco,
the PCD & alicia keys
still rock the show!!
i was lucky.
i went to get tix at the booth
and this china lady came up to me,
sold me hers for a hundred fifty.
i tot i was cheated but then i got in.
so it was indeed great!

things haf been fabolous,
that it scares me.
'cause somethin is bound to happen next.
i just know it.
dats just life, it isnt smooth-sailin.

i'm only glad i'm happy-go-lucky,

free and easy.

hearin abt scandals n affairs,

its so common now.

well, of course i hate it.

u wouldnt want to be at the losin end.

trust me, i know so.

but whatever it is, u gotta take it.

admit to ur mistake.

no one else will do it.

only you and urself alone.

but its surprisingly cheaper.

2008-07-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

i've resulted to online shoppin,

and its all 'cause of my sis.

feel it, dig it..

2008-07-29T23:15:00.002+08:00

i simply love this!

A man looks at his son with a sad look upon his face
He doesn’t cry
He sits there on the street within his eyes
they’re showing you
The reason why

Where have you gone?
Gone away, leaving us in the same tragedy
Won’t you stay?
I don’t know where to go…
I don’t know where to go…
please say to god we don’t know where to go
to save our souls

Hope falls from the sky on iron wings,
But it don’t ever hit the ground
People scatter everywhere
But all they see is the barrel of a gun

Where have you gone?
Gone away, leaving us in the same tragedy
Won’t you stay?
I don’t know where to go…
I don’t know where to go…
please say to god we don’t know where to go
to save our souls

the long road to ruin

2008-07-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

do you still remember?

i like shoes too!

2008-07-20T12:13:00.000+08:00

oohh.. i love chris brown's jacket in 'Forever'!!

sorry, its just a fetish i have,

about jackets.

i forgot what i'm supposed to do next...

2008-07-20T12:10:00.000+08:00

summerlove's gone.

currently simply waitin for that party,

and its back to school.

its plain to see i'm simple.

its time to focus

2008-07-18T05:01:00.000+08:00

i'm pretty much drained out,
from work which leads me to
bein unable to complete my task at hand,
i need to tick all the boxes in my to-do list.
this period is a rather busy time for me.
the fire is steadily growing,
but my body is dehydratin on its own.
i don't even haf the time to call back
a long-time buddy who phones me.
i don't care.
i'm still gg runnin this weekend.
with or without the sand.

singfest.. jason mraz is comin to town!!

2008-07-15T00:39:00.004+08:00

its finally done!
room has been revamped.
i'm contented with the arrangements.
furnitures were mostly from ikea.
with the walls painted
and the layout finalised,
its time to throw them out.
unwanted, unused and basically trash.
its weird that i do things backwards.

what exactly is sex appeal?
is it when u look at somebody,
u feel like havin sex with them
or when u see someone,
u just wanna surrender urself?
someone once told me that
i looked sexy when i'm concentrating.
anyways, i think neyo is sexy in this video.
his moves and his grooves are cool.
plus everyone can relate to his lyrics.
"the more you get, the more you want.
i don't wanna escape. i just cant stop."
i think the time has come,
to let it all out. expose ur heart to heartbreaks.
do it soon before ur immunity is gone.

are those bats or the mornin chirping birds?

2008-07-14T04:32:00.005+08:00

my neighbour's door slammed loudly,
the leaves rustled fiercely away
and before u see it,
u can hear droplets pitter patter.
i just love the rain, don't u?
its time for me to head to bed.

i wish it was that simple.

3

2008-07-03T16:46:00.001+08:00

i never thought you could be my best friend
i am indeed grateful for having you in my life
you are just one of the many few amazing people
simply thinking abt u brings a smile to my face
thank you for being here for me always. hugs.

i feel like heading to the beach later
to run my heart out back and forth
from where the sand ends to where the sea begins
it seems like a complete full-body workout to me
with the feel of the sand in between my toes
sweat glistening from my arms, washed away by the sea
i admit i am an adrenaline junkie
i need the feel of excitement, adventure, danger,
spontaneity and fun,
plus i need to find a friend who share the same interest as me
i wanna try out extreme sports,
para-gliding, snorkeling, bungee jumping,
basically anything you can find ard the world.
no trekking in the jungles for me.
an experience with the leeches is enough!
go figure. yucks.

so.. a friend invites me to go build a house again
and its in thailand, again
i might consider the offer,
if it doesnt clash with my school.
anyone of u who wants to share the experience with me,
may join me and do so. haha.

a few friends have asked me out tonight
i am not going to clubs or gulped down drinks, for now.
where's the fun in that?
i'm gonna chill for now.
its funny when the one person u wanna hang out with,
doesnt even have the time to do so
but everyone else is in your face,
wanting you out with them.
how ironic is that. life is always like this.

i've planned to make my way to Ikea tmr
there's a clearance sale on
and there are 2 things i wanna get
1) a bigger spacious computer table
2) a display showcase set
3) a comfy bedsheet with a comforter
okay. make that 3 things then.
its only for tmr, 4th july.
hope to see you there. =)

sometimes you need to experience the pain to feel the joy

2008-07-03T15:30:00.004+08:00

i am undeniably an insomniac.
i couldnt sleep last night,
i was online till 5am.
decided to give up the net only because,
its time for everyone else to wake up.
have u ever felt that you've gone to bed,
thinkin that you have slept
but in actual fact you were just lying in bed
with ur eyes open and ur mind closed.
you should watch the movie 'Fight Club'
and u will understand what i'm tryin to say here.
somehow i think its pretty cool to be delusional
minus away those imaginary characters of course.
but i am not paranoid or anything.
it is just a disease i need to get rid of.
i even woke up at 10am this morning.
did some work-out to physically tire myself out
yet i don't feel an ounce of exhaustion in my bones.
oh my god. what is happening to me?
i tried every possible remedy
but nothing seems to work.
could it be you?
oh, pls.. don't let it be you.
i need a dose of dormicum now.
valium. any kind of diazepam.
even coldplay cant fix me,
maybe danity kane has damaged it all over again.
by the way, i love that song right this moment.
though it reminds me of one somebody.
darn.

bless the world

2008-07-03T03:05:00.006+08:00

it is very disheartening
to see someone's disastrous day
especially when it happens right in front of you
you are there but there is absolutely nothing you can do
but just to be physically there, period.
i know how it feels now,
what my friends and family went thru,
when i met with the accident
it wasnt easy,
it never is.
nobody will ever know the pain of another.
unless that person is you.

is this from the storybooks or from the caffeine?

2008-07-02T02:18:00.001+08:00

he is desiring for her, so bad

he has ran out of ideas,

to reach deep inside her soul

to make her understand that he could fix her

all he had wanted was her heart

because w/out knowin it, she already had his

he had left hints at her door,

carved prints on the floor,

imprint memories so intense, its mind-blowin

yet she is still damaged from the one before

unable to shake away her haunting past

he had failed to succeed,

to make her his everythin

to treat her the way a lover deserves

to love her just like a romeo would a juliet

to look after her and simply to see her laugh

never to inflict hurt onto her,

which is rather impossible when it comes to love

the period of time he hadn't met his friends

is the exact duration he hadn't seen her

it is tragic to come to this

the question mark behind how it came to this

he actually saw beyond it all

and could picture his life in the future,

with her in it - his bella luna.

she is so far out of reach now

he has been on sleepness nights ever since

her face sticks out in his mind everyday

he can never understand what it is abt her

that can make him feel this way

esp. after vowin never to fall in love again

she is plain different, and he knows that

but unfortunately its time to let go.

he have held on for quite awhile now

and she still shunned herself from him

just thinkin abt her could bring a smile to his face

he loved her simple way of life - minus the curfews,

he adored her intellectuality

and definitely her warm smile.

it was indeed a challenge,

one minute it was sunset by the beach,

the next it was rocky snowflakes right in the face.

all of it only confused him more

he couldn't deny he was hungry for her

he's clearly left to satisfy himself with the thought of her

lonely and so empty, he feels

why must h.e.a.r.t associate itself with l.o.v.e

slowly, he is losing himself in the mosh pit.

sing me a tune

2008-07-01T01:44:00.003+08:00

i think Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive.

he is just so suave and i simply love his style.

plus his voice is absolutely superb, similar to jason mraz.

next in line is the usual,

Brad Pitt, Christiano Ronaldo and David Beckham.

Guess everyone's straight deep inside

yah.. yah.. yah.. yah..

2008-06-28T17:44:00.001+08:00

what's the result of working hard?

besides the money of course,

its lookin forward to the holidays!

my colleague just got back from Italy

man..

when will be the time for me to go there..

travelling would definitely be 1st on my wishlist.

i dun care who i go with,

as long as i can haf fun.

shoppin, site-seeing or even extreme sports,

i'm game.

i need to get out of my normal boring routine life.

is that all you've got to say?

2008-06-21T11:20:00.005+08:00

i hate gossips,
esp. those that get u entangled in
i don't know what they get by doin so
it doesnt pays to be friendly, does it?
why must there be a reason behind everythin?
i was merely just havin a conversation
oh hell, i was there to just enjoy myself, fullstop.
i wouldnt even brag abt myself or anyone for dat matter
life would brag for itself.
don't think too highly of urself yea,
it could kill u; like rumours can.
its fucken pissin me off.
i seriously hate liars,
but i fucken hate backstabbers more.
its time to be a jerk now.
no more bein nice & sweet & all that bull.
even if u were abt to get hit by a truck,
i wouldnt call out to u to warn u.
but we all know that's somethin i wouldnt do.
but fuck it.
i've been in this kinda situation often enuf to know
that it wouldnt solve anythin if u get more involved in it
i don't need u to believe me,
i don't even want u to believe me.
i'm not havin insecurities issue here.
i'll let god be my witness.

i seriously haf enuf of all this bullshit.

and fuck! i left my house keys at work!

science

2008-06-20T18:00:00.004+08:00

..."get outta my head"...

sing it the way ashlee simpson does,

reacting to the effect of the music.

its amazing how the brain works

you can never figure out

what goes on in someone's head.

go green. take public.

2008-06-19T02:09:00.002+08:00

don't u wish u can capture

that perfect moment on camera..

the beautiful sunrise in between blocks,

that cute smile on a pretty boy,

those clumsy feet stompin on cloudy puddles.

will it go to waste if we missed it?

it is great to enjoy the simple things in life.

hold my hand now,

lets go and grab some chocolate ice-cream.

talk abt nothing-ness

2008-06-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

the room is cryin to be revamped

folders urgin to be organised

walls beggin to be painted

hold up, press rewind.

lets start off by cleanin out the closet

god gave us style and grace

take a look in the mirror.

erase all those spots and scars,

spend some time on manicures and pedicures,

trim these brows, put on fake lashes,

with coldplay playin in the background..

haf confidence and tell everyone they are beautiful.

music is life

2008-06-14T03:40:00.004+08:00

the IT fair was a blast!
wat can i say..
i am indeed a tech-freak.
crap..
i bought shoes... again..
well, i do of course love them.
darn..
one of my colleague got hospitalized
due to tremendous amount of weight loss
which was due to depression from a break-up
and also some problems at work
its a pity to see her go down in that state
but at the end of the day, we all know that
...she'll be a much stronger person.
so.. work is gettin pretty dull,
life's been rather slow,
and i have a bruise on my right hand,
which i have no idea where that came from.
cigarettes are actually good company,
so why quit?
u have to check out linkin park's latest video
this is a good one 'cause all the members are in it
the music's not bad either.
this is the result of bummin in front of mtv too much.

blindfold me

2008-06-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

names, everyone has it

immature, liar, indecisive, idiotic

thats what they call me

people only see you on the surface

its sad that they don't look past that

they think they know,

but they never try to understand

if only life was that simple

my heart stopped but my jaw bleeds

the hair is able to be styled now that its longer

tell me why.. is this the only way?

it felt like home before

now its just some lowlyin terrain in red

the whole thing was just a set-up

they take ur guts & then had it smashed against the wall

its so easy to say it all out

but it takes a whole load more than just words

the issue isnt any point debating over

work is tying me down, its hard to be gone

all that's left is ur confidence

with the faint sound of bells ringing

its closing time, open all the doors

and let u out into the lawn

whiskey or beer, u choose

but u cant stay here...

so take me home.

ooh.. how i love to sing like Jason Mraz

2008-06-01T14:30:00.005+08:00

Mystery the moon a hole in the sky
A supernatural nightlight so full but often wry
A pair of eyes a closing one
A chosen child of golden sun
A marble dog that chases cars to farthest reaches of the beach
And far beyond into the swimming sea of stars

The cosmic fish they love to kiss
They’re giving birth to constellations
No riffs and oh no reservation
If they should fall you’d get a wish or dedication

May I suggest you get the best
for nothing less than you and I
Let’s take a chance as this romance is rising
Oh, before we lose the lighting

Oh Bella bella please.
Bella you beautiful luna.
Oh Bella do what you do.

You are an illuminating anchor
of leagues to infinite in number
For crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger

You’re dancing naked just for me you expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You’re the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything
Intertwining like a ring around the finger…

Of a girl. I’m just a singer you’re the world
All I can bring ya’ is a language of a lover

Bella Luna my bella luna
How you swoon me like no other

May I suggest you get the best of your wish
may I insist at no contest for little you and smaller I
a larger chance as this romance is rising
on the brink of our lives

Bella bella please. Bella you beautiful luna.
Bella do what you do.
Bella luna. My beautiful beautiful moon.
How you swoon me like no other

i'm a tech-freak

2008-06-01T14:20:00.003+08:00

burnin like a cigarette,
the moon cries aloud in red
illuminatin shadows playin in my head
with a subtle smile, she sleeps on the bed

constantly havin her ghost close
sealing all memories with a rose
still longing for that accustomed dose
say a prayer tonight, let it be exposed

mysterious, cautious, mischievous
she's everythin into one - a masterpiece of love
her imperfections were so perfect, her feelings were in codes
hey its alright to be afraid, we're both actually like peas in a pod

it all happened so fast, we dint had time to blink
the sweet moments still made me blush in pink
attached, detached agn & agn - u twist me into a kink
flush it down and drown me in ur beautiful sink

indescribable, unscramble this heart of scars
so full, oh do flatten it with one of those flashy cars
its weird cause when ur near, u seem so far
i wish i could be in the sky amongst the twinkling stars

i am not expectin anythin but dear god wat am i doin?
is this my emotions or my intuition speakin?
its definitely not abt losin, its just abt lovin.
but how far and how long can u go on dreamin?
because the truth is, nothin lasts forever - Nothin.

a cup of tea

2008-05-29T21:50:00.003+08:00

its been awhile...

my lappy has crashed on me.

i haven been able to access over to da virtual side

its now all abt da audio-visual-self-entertainment

i miss izzie.

i miss a couple of other people as well.

i travel to places like everyone else now; by public.

school will be starting soon,

so i am unsure of wat the future will hold for me

i desire for something which i cant have.

its not driving me crazy but its making me insane.

will you still stay here and never stop bein my fren?

peppermint fresh

2008-04-09T18:26:00.000+08:00

i feel like writin my tots down

yet when my fingers hit the keys,

i cant think where to start.

...now i feel like shittin.

log it on

2008-04-05T18:10:00.001+08:00

where have all the good times go?

i'm still loving those shoes n jackets.

un-amaze me

2008-04-01T04:26:00.000+08:00

i guess i am back to bloggin.

life has been a pain in da ass for me lately.

i'm currently fallin sick from all da booze n cigs i had.

my mind hasnt been thinkin straight,

i'm frustrated n totally exhausted at da same time.

i keep thinkin n ponderin n wonderin agn n agn,

how could things took a drastic change in just 2 weeks?

one min i tot i had it all figured out,

and da next, was just unexplainable.

it feels like i had been on a rollercoaster ride.

life is indeed a bitch.

and i m one idiotic asshole.

somebody shoot me.

must you?

2008-03-06T01:20:00.000+08:00

woohoo..
i'm off to KL.
i cant get to slp though.
hopin i dun overslept later.
mayb i'm just excited.
but oh well...
i do pray ur there.

the curse of the full moon

2008-02-23T02:06:00.001+08:00

hate is only on da surface
though it does help in a way
he has finally gotten weary
he cried and cried,
till there was no more tears to dry
he laughed and laughed,
till he ran out of jokes to tell
he ran and ran,
as if he was runnin in circles
he sang and sang,
till his voice went silent
he slept and slept,
but he woke up as usual as always
he ate and ate,
but he never seem to put on weight
at the end of his life,
all he thought of was how great he had been
he kept tellin himself that
even as he was stabbed to death
the ghouls and goblins just smiled
history was reborn.

a book of woes

2008-02-21T02:24:00.000+08:00

the serenity of life seems so far now
work could actually save me from me
smilin in despair, he is still here
he has come to take u away
but i don't want u anywhere else
listen to urself, is it really u?
a chance given is a chance not to be missed
gurglin down his drink, he already had u at hello
that perfect lil' angel had struck his arrow
'once bitten, twice shy,
thrice ur just a fool waitin to die'
so wats da big secret everyone's talkin abt?
its just so plain to see, unless ur color blind
lost in confusion, twisted in frustration
i have already admitted defeat
is there any lower den dat?
the sound of piano and violins playin
picture me singin u a love song
touched u from inside with real words
would u cry or would u smile?
don't speak if its gonna hurt
go to sleep but don't peep
dun keep pullin n pushin away
its gettin harder to read
flush it down the drain
all of it, let it wash away the gray
flashes of images passin thru
the man had let it out
he had won, with relief
leavin behind a trail of guilt
masterin strength to receive
it simply pains to suffer
acceptin da fact more than never
hoistin the white flag high above
its been done upon the command
no turnin back, no heads up high
pull everyone out from inside
foldin and unfoldin, revealin and disclosin
just bear it, afterall, its only a blueprint
keep replayin the tape to success
it will be torn soon.

groove till we get there

2008-02-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

them eyes just wont look away

our minds make us seem gay

she hugs like a teddy bear

he walks as if he's a rock star

children wanna remain little

adults need to pause somewhere in the middle

lets haf fun and never stop giggling

simply keep it real and wriggling.

life begins on monday

2008-02-05T01:45:00.000+08:00

smile to a new you.

with somethin to do

2008-02-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

it has been rather exhaustin lately.

but its awesome,

'cause its wearin me out.

mind racing, events piling

2008-01-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

i hate it when plans don't happen.

dats y i haf always loved spontaneity.

'cause i cant take the disappointment.

or maybe i shudn't even care.

enter into a new style

2008-01-25T23:52:00.001+08:00

i'm into sleeveless shirts now.

i actually tot i was special

2008-01-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

don't get jealous of me.

i'm just a nobody.

its just words

2008-01-23T23:54:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i bought into all those bullshit.

all over again.

one more time.

it ended before it even started.

could it get any worse?

patience no more

2008-01-22T01:31:00.001+08:00

i simply cant wait!

can it be done any faster?

would u rather be correct or right?

2008-01-19T02:39:00.000+08:00

lil' josh fell in love again unexpectedly
she used to be da gal he once wanted
so bad, like how he loved his toys
he dint even lay his eyes on any other gals
he also once had a gal
but she wasnt honest with him
so he had to let her go
he had such a tragic tale.
complications happened.
he was too late.
she had other admirers, alot more
she was seein them, contactin them
he just couldnt take it
but he had already fallen deeper
so he doesnt noe if he shud stop,
or just carry on walkin.
for every step forward he takes,
he has to take a step back
to prevent himself from gettin hurt
one beautiful thing abt her is,
the way she amazes him every single time
the way she leaves him feelin breathless
but she keeps killin him,
without even knowin it.
lil' josh looks into the mirror.
tryin to fight back stubborn tears,
his heart dropped one level
he does not know wat to do.
confused. scared. lost.
shud he just give up now
and save the disappointment,
or shud he persevere
and enjoy the destruction?
nevertheless, lil' josh is holdin on.
for better or worse,
he doesnt know.
he decided to take a risk.
for once, he is not givin up on love.

just ur normal random routine post

2008-01-17T02:29:00.000+08:00

there is so much hate in da world today
so much sadness, so much pain
all of it has left me feelin numb
i've been thru too much.
but u cant say dat enuf is enuf.
cuz nuthin in this world is ever enuf.
money, love, sex, music, sacrifices.
its greed and selfishness dat keeps us goin.
passion and drive is just another secondary factor.
nuthin last forever.
not even life.

there's too much bike accidents too.
must be the weather n the road conditions.
do take care riders.
check ur tyres n brakes regularly.

it seems, everyone is gettin crazy, as da day goes by
its ridiculous.
mengucap! sabar! kuatkan iman.
it really helps.
just think of Him and u'll get by.
dun be nonsense here,
cuz u noe i dun care anymore.
i dun haf anythin more to lose,
but me, myself n i.
take me if u must,
but noe dat i've at least made ppl smile,
made someone's day
and made a difference.
dats all i'm here for.
nuthin more, nuthin less.

money is only a luxury.
sex is only for pleasure.
love is only a 4-letter word.
music is only tunes with lyrics.
sacrifices are only for the memories.

i may be bullshittin,
i may appear to be soul-less.
but i noe wat i feel
and i noe wat it is.
just help me fix me,
without even helpin me.
can u?

u leave me breathless

2008-01-14T16:25:00.000+08:00

its been awhile since i'm here.
gosh. i even forgot my password,
and had to haf it reset.

there is alot on my 'to-do' list
when i'm done with one, another few comes in.
damn.
but most of da time, i'm left there,
to just think and look at it.
never really put an action to it.
i really shud stop procastinatin.

i may be a geek.
but facebook is indeed awesome!
i'm in it almost every nights,
just playin games n all.
blackjack is fun too,
i lost a lot of money last night.
haha..
yea, i'm crazy.

aight. its time to get it on,
to accomplish my goals n dreams.

take a listen to this song before u go.
this moves me everytime i hear it.

this is what i need to do

2008-01-08T00:36:00.001+08:00

Don't just think.

Take action of that thought!

new year resolution #01

2008-01-06T03:59:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again
i don't wanna get hurt again

and i'll make sure it'll stay dat way

it feels strange to change

2008-01-05T04:03:00.000+08:00

i smiled today.

and i wonder to myself.

is it out of happiness,

or out of frustration?

aaahhh... HOT!!!

2008-01-04T03:08:00.000+08:00

oh darn.
this is one chick i would love to fuck.
this one is really a pussycat.
i would love to haf a girlfriend like nicole,
a freak on da streets n a pussycat in da sheets.
yeah baby..
do whatever i like, sexy!

porridge, soups n ice-cream everyday, baby

2008-01-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

the new year has already brightened up

since its NEW, everythin has to change

damn,

i think this time around,

i'm losin weight faster

compared to when i'm puttin it on

my jeans n shirts r gettin too baggy now

do u think i shud clean out my closet?

or shud i just put on weight..

haha.. i dun want to be skinny,

too skinny dat is.

but i aint complainin.

put on ur earphones

2008-01-03T04:52:00.000+08:00

here's one new song,
dat i can enjoy bopping my head to.
too bad, the music video's not out yet
i just love the sound of guitar by santana
its awesome!!!

u can never tell the future
sometimes, everythin happens too fast
kanye west lost his mom to an operation
somethin dat he dint want her to undergo
guess when ur at it, one thing after another
just hits u right back in the face.
dats wat u call life.
here's one of his latest song,
i like it.

lets play mind games

2008-01-02T03:38:00.000+08:00

a buddy of mine told me that...

whoever u spend new year's day with,

u'll gonna end up doin everything

with that someone for da rest of the year

and i kinda believe in it.

i'm glad i made the right choice.

listen to the sound of violins

2007-12-31T02:02:00.000+08:00

everybody lies,
it just depends how drastic it gets.

does material really means so much,
even when it isnt even important?
why do i get hooked on boxers n shoes,
i'm already a victim.
make me stop!

dreams. illusions. nightmares.
it is only when i sleep,
i can create my own life,
the way i want it to be.

its gonna be a new yr tmr.
i cant wait to leave 2007.
please God.
let 2008 be a smooth one for me.
i really need it.
i already made plans.
make them come true.

i think i'm havin insomnia

2007-12-28T05:05:00.000+08:00

music can make u do crazy things

i can simply listen to them for hours

and look at da time...

dang!

and i'm still not aslp

music is like a pill

i'm hooked to you, baby

give me more!

do it to me like how u would a music video.

carolling with me

2007-12-26T02:08:00.000+08:00

i've switched to 91.3fm
"never more than 2 ads in a row"
this radio station rocks!
thru my days and nights,
while cleanin or just chillin,
the songs played r simply up to my taste
i remember i used to listen to this station
but it was called WKRZ back then
it used to play all da techno songs
haha.. yea, i used to like techno,
and i still do somehow.
anyway, dats besides the point.
so there r a few latest songs dat i like,
one of them is from this video
i totally love the beat n lyrics,
but when i saw the video,
haha.. i fell in love with the colours,
and definitely da dance steps!
even though he wore pink n purple shirts,
he dun look gay.
to me, he's confident of himself
and i kinda like his shoes. hmm..

and more to listen to,
for da holiday season. =)
enjoy!

MagiClean

2007-12-22T15:58:00.000+08:00

today is my sis's open house

she has finally officially moved out

damn..

u shud see her place,

its magnificent!

i just love the way she had it designed

kinda like my dream house

da only thing is,

i haf to keep on dreamin..

oh well..

now the two devils wont be here as often

only in da morn till late noon until

their parents come to take them home from work

so she's taken all her belongings,

and its time for me to keep my rm tidy

i've been doin just that

its so hard when u haf so many things

and i've found out i haf more things den i noe

i cleaned, cleaned and even recleaned

i just want my things da way i want it to be

its difficult when i cant achieve perfection

dun tell me to take a black trash bag n dump everythin

i sure as hell wont let anybody near my things

hmm.. aight den. lets get to it.

i haf only abt 48 hrs to do so,

to make it spankin' clean.

what is it like...?

2007-12-19T03:41:00.000+08:00

its three-thirty in the mornin

and i still cant get to slp

mario 'let me love u' is playin on 98.7

everythin seems so surreal

i'm like halfway to heaven..

who would haf thought?

make me want it more than you do

2007-12-15T02:08:00.000+08:00

they say u'll most likely to be

dysfunctional when ur stranded at home

initially that was the deal

but now it feels like ur on a long holiday

bein able to clear ur mind is great

in addition, a few other objectives were listed

finally sortin out everythin there is to

couldnt believe life could actually be fun

there are indeed alot of things to do

goals and desires to accomplish

stuff u wouldnt tot of when ur busy with work

its not always abt the money

sometimes u haf to appreciate the simple things in life

thats when u will treasure wat means to u most

mayb i was selfish and self-centred once

mayb i was stubborn and hot-tempered before

well, who hasnt been?

its all abt da choices u make in life

da way u handle stress and tough decisions

at the end of the day, watever choice u make

just be happy and contented

'cause never look back, never regret

keep tellin urself,

'its all worth it'.

deja vu

2007-12-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

its a scary world we live in
anythin can happen at anytime
to anyone at any place
this may sound abit off
but do u believe in black magic?
well, i do
it could actually be goin on right now,
even as we speak
its funny how human beings behave
they would resort to anythin & everythin,
just to get what they want or desire
but mostly its all abt the money
i just dunnoe why
they would trapped someone
make him or her fall deeply in love with them
till everyone else around them is puzzled
'cause they would be thinkin
what exactly do they see in that someone
oh well..
its sad cause my uncle is in it
thinkin abt it, its all too weird
i just dun understand guys
why is it dat one wife for them is just not enuf?
a good wife especially,
someone who can cook,
clean up after u and
take good care of the kids
yet, they still want another lady of the house
well, its either they r trapped or
they are just plain greedy and selfish
guess life is all abt da ups and downs
nobody is perfect,
perfection is just mistakes dat we try to correct
dats what makes us human

i may not look like someone who reads
but i haf been occupyin my time with books
its just 'cause i wanna make da clock tick faster
i do enjoy this one book though
its awesome,
the way a man and a woman find love
its all abt lettin urself go
take da risk and trust that someone
u shud haf a read,
it may act as an aphrodisiac for u. =P

Here is another book that i enjoyed.
Suspense and thriller,
but it involved woman as victims,
so u'll feel abit grossed out to read

clean up

2007-12-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

i tried and i tried,

i really did,

but i still cant find a way to do it.

it does looked small,

so simple yet so complex.

i'm with the sunrise.

2007-12-09T07:34:00.000+08:00

the trip down was refreshin

esp. way early in the mornin

with da long queues of checkin in

i was reminded of my holiday times

suddenly da urge to relax myself arises

i wanna fly away soon

to a resort or sumthin

i had enuf of shoppin

so now it'll be just my pamperin moment

i saw an old schoolmate with her boyfren

they looked so happy together

of course, who wouldnt?!

they are abt to venture to another country

just da two of them

how romantic is dat?

alright.

time to save up for another trip.

who's comin with me?

damn dat mocha ice blend last night

now i cant fall aslp.

hopefully i will after a hot cocoa.

but i'm still in love with my cosy sweater,

no matter how much u did

deny me of buyin it. =P

its my happy time.

2007-12-09T03:41:00.000+08:00

i realised...
i do shut people out sometimes.
others are sincere in reachin out,
yet i refused it all.
i even avoided conversations,
eye-contact,
or even pretended not to see them
on the streets.
it gets irritating when da world is small
its unexplainable, da things i do.
at times, i just wanna be alone,
away from human contact.
though somewhere inside, i'm screamin
for someone to come and save me.
they say its unpleasant of me when i get mad.
i do try to control my temper,
but it never fail to get outta control.
one thing i wont do.
lay a finger on anyone.
call me a coward, dats just not my style.
i prefer talkin things out.
portrayin a happy front is easy
i cant pretend,
but everyone can put up a front.
its da only way nobody can pry further.
bein corny and lame is just a lifestyle,
sometimes its nice to c others laugh to ur jokes.
i finally know wat i want to do in life,
as a career, and as a human being.
i haf always been helpin ppl,
this time i can really make a difference.
those quiet moments on the bus,
those lonely walks back home,
those sweet images captured on the streets,
it got me thinkin.
money is not everythin.
though it does provide me some form of therapy,
to just keep pamperin myself with luxuries,
at da end of da day, its all nuthin.
its just wealth.
i'm gonna treat my family good now
to relieve them of their wishlist
though i cant seem to believe it,
i just paid my medical fees just like dat
gosh, i noe its a hell of a load of bucks
i think i was goin bonkers dat time
i just had them swipped it
w/out even askin questions and why
oh well.. money can be earned back
i'm not rich, i'm just ur average stubborn
punk next door tryin to be a rock star.
i'm goin back to school next yr.
dats definitely one of my new yr's resolution,
the rest will be a secret.
actually, i cant wait for x'mas.
i think somethin extravagant will happen.
i could be wrong for dat matter.

she is damn annoyin at times.

2007-12-09T02:12:00.000+08:00

she's off to Korat soon

in abt 4 hrs time

its gonna be her 1st time flyin

i do hope she haf loads of fun dere

she has been my best fren all this while

actually, she has always been

only i dint see it

i still cant forgive myself

for all da shellin and attitude i gave her

she still stood dere for me

not even shiftin on her toes

thru it all, she endured alot from me

nobody knows me best

i dunnoe y i still treat her dat way

mayb i take her for granted

mayb i take her as my punchin bag

mayb because she takes over me so much

dat i hate her for followin my footsteps

i dun want her to be like me

to experience and live my life

i am at the point of no return

i cant say where this is goin to take me

but i still do wanna marry dat special beauty

to put it ard her and to pamper her all my life

well, mayb someday it will find me

even though i believe in love, its not for me

it never is and it will never be

lets face it,

i treat my lover like my best friend

and who would want dat right, so

lets just live life while it last.

i'm gonna sleep alone when she's gone,

i'm already missin her,

my dear lil' sister.

if life sucks, wat abt love?

2007-12-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

i just love music from Maroon 5
they make me wanna fall in love agn
the way Adam sings to u with his eyes
take a look at this video

well..
sometimes its good to be stubborn
to work towards wat u really want
but if it really doesnt work out
u also haf to know da exact moment to stop
'cause it wont always go ur way
its sad but its da whole truth

i've been back at the place where i met my tragedy
kinda recalled wat happened
i still remembered da look on munah's n my dad's face
i've gotten da key to adulthood now
and i dun want others to worry abt me
its time to live life less risky
i may think i noe wat to do but i dont
i've been given another chance to live
but one thing's for sure...
life is indeed full of surprises
to always expect da unexpected
and to live each day as if its ur last
if tmr u were to die, would u regret...
-not doin wat u shud be doin instead
-not tellin dat special someone how u feel abt dem
well, we're not gettin any younger
we can only be young at heart,
childish in nature and decide our laughter
i hate it.
i hate dat things happen so sudden
i have yet to grasp reality and another one hit me
it keeps comin but it wont stay
before u even wanna question, its gone
it really sucks.
sometimes i just wish,
we can all live happily ever after.

droplets from heaven

2007-12-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

serenade me to sleep

judge me only when da lights go out

2007-11-30T18:02:00.000+08:00

its ironic how cosy my livin room is

they can just lie and slp almost instantly

but i like it when guests treat my house like dere own

at least i noe wat exactly dey want

for those who r shy, i cant really tell wat dey need

and dat kinda sucks on my part

to just chill out with mutual understandin is cool

no words, no neccessary actions, just telepathy

i dunnoe why people judge entries on blogs too soon

to me, blogs are just blogs.

feelings are wat u shud treasure most

it doesnt mean dat wat i say here, i will feel right now

its goes along with the flow

one moment i'm angry, da next i'm sad

so wat i say on blogs is not necessary accurate

i may be emotional and sentimental

but u shud never be too judgemental

its not good for u, or for anyone else.

thru it all

2007-11-29T14:54:00.000+08:00

its not as easy as it seems

i'm fighting and fighting

but i'm hittin da ground twice as hard

everyone is counting on me

but i'm afraid i'm abt to let all down

i dint realised dat i had my heart scarred

along with my face thru the tragedy

i dun want my parents to worry

i noe how much it must be hurtin my mom

to see me this way, to suffer in silence

i'm full of mixed emotions

one thing does lead to another

i'm sorry to say this,

but please leave me alone for now

stop the visitin for awhile

i just need time to think on my own

abt everythin dat has happened so far

its all up to me from here on out

i need to be strong, only me.

but nevertheless, thanx to all

for ur gifts, ur moral support, and ur presence

it did helped me get thru somehow

thank you.

recover mind, soul and body

2007-11-26T17:05:00.000+08:00

i have a love and hate relationship with u
i loved all the successes u helped me thru
i loved that u fulfilled all my wishes and wants but...
i hate what u haf done to me
i hate dat u haf to go to dis extent to teach me
i know now.. yes i do..
now, i noe exactly how to spend my money
i noe wat kind of transportation i shud get
i dun haf to be confused anymore, thank you.
u taught me a lesson
i will learn!
but my passion of riding will never die.
nevertheless, u haf been with me all this while
even till today, i noe u still love me
because u let me lived.
i love you Allah!

i really appreciate everyone of u,
parents, family and esp. great friends
for ur care, concern and sympathy
i tried so hard to believe every word
but only i noe how i exactly feel
i was indeed devastated
how i wish i could haf died instead
now i wish i was somebody else
there's no point in wishin anymore
its all been said and done
everythin's been lost in the accident
and now i haf to regain it all back
i dun want anyone of u to cry for me
i already haf plans laid out once i'm fully back
i'm going to return.. for sure..
i promise with my life.

i got to know abt this song back when i was in camp
those 6 mths were the most difficult times for me
but this helped me thru it all
i never told anyone before
but i listened to this song every night
every single time i'm losing hope in life
mayb it could work for u too.

i'm headin back there agn tmr
i heard they are gg to put me to slp this time
the op will take abt 4 hrs solid
i bet its gonna fucken hurt when i wake up
let me take a deep breath and close my eyes to da world
it will soon be over.

thanx so much u guys
from relatives, to colleagues, to frenz
i've never gotten so much essence for my birthday before
plus i did got a couple of sweet gifts from beloved frenz
well, it was indeed memoriable
but 2007 is not a good year for me
i'm only lookin forward to the next year
hopefully the 8 in that yr will give me luck
and loads of it!

Oh. and happy birthday to Titi today!
my annoyin, fun-loving, crazy lil' sis!

sexy x'mas elves

2007-11-18T23:03:00.000+08:00

i so-called bought myself a birthday gift

i hate that i'm an impulsive shopper

it better look as good as u guys say it is

better be worth the bucks.

ho, ho, ho!!

yan and me got candy canes

and u guys aint got none. wahaha.

well.. well..

round 2 is up next.

u slice the stripes,

and i'll ace the colours.

smiles.

2007-11-17T18:33:00.000+08:00

the sunset is beautiful
open ur eyes, the world, its colourful
it is for real...
cuz tmr is just a little step away
i'll be there as long as u believe in love agn
tell me that ur waitin
waitin for that happiness

nocturnal drive

2007-11-17T05:01:00.000+08:00

S'pore has some of the coolest places

its not as boring as it seemed to be

drive and cruise ard, and u'll know

tick tock

2007-11-17T04:55:00.000+08:00

hey izzie..

dere's exactly one week left.

mambo billard

2007-11-16T00:23:00.000+08:00

i had it cut & styled

some time last week

i think i kinda looked like my sis

next, i'm gonna haf it dyed

i dun care,

i'm not gonna be workin long anyway

i'm just in it for the money.

oh.

i've found another way to spend money

its a hobby i'd like to call pool.

soon, it'll be billard.

wear some low-cut blouse,

with a pair of hot pants

and lets head for the table.

feel the words...

2007-11-15T03:10:00.001+08:00

insecurities could kill you
why dun u just lay back n enjoy da view
there's nuthin left to lose
come, join me, lets drink some booze

road adventure

2007-11-13T19:01:00.000+08:00

i was bored,
plus i couldnt go back to slp.
i went around S'pore
cars with 'SJA' has orady came out
KPE is totally wired up with cameras
da speed limit is 70
anymore than 80 and u'll get a ticket
i swear i was gonna buy dat W580i phone
it only cost abt 300+
i was contemplatin so long dere.. haha..
it was fun.

sweaters again...

2007-11-13T02:26:00.000+08:00

come shoppin with me.

lets just pamper ourselves,

without lookin at the receipts.

whang whang...

2007-11-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

the price of petrol has officially gone up,
so would u ask ur pillion to pay?

damn...
i'm so in love with u.
i'm definitely gonna get u.
but u must be red.
darn u!
why must u take me for an awesome spin?

hey, thanx benny
though its kinda spontaneous
i like it!
check it out...

do not enter if u cant take it!

2007-11-11T04:07:00.000+08:00

watever i write here is only for me
i'm not here to indirectly cause a fight
u cant judge anything from here also
come on man.. grow up..
how can u base ur trust on her thru my blog
wat makes u so sure dat wat i write here is true
i have enough of everything
cant i even move on in peace?
i'm here to tell u dat she loves u full-heartedly
even though u haf other gfs or watever,
yea, she loves u like fuck
we r lovers turned enemies, dats for sure
even though she did said she wanted to visit me and all
but its all bullshit cuz i haven met her in abt a mth
so wat r u so afraid of?
she's not gonna cheat on u, dats right
she's too blind into u to see anythin else
i swear i wont write anythin abt her anymore but
i will still write abt wat i feel abt her or anybody else
i don't care actually,
but i do care abt her
and enuf is enuf
so just stop it,
and stop visitin my blog!

i dun deserve this shit from u!

2007-11-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

i can handle a high-maintenance gal
i can handle a materialistic gal
but i cant handle a two-timing scam
can u teach me?

i am not afraid of death
so y shud i even be afraid
of ur threatens and such
come, lets do it.
i just love it when ppl dun haf balls.

da one thing i still love is to
ride away in the streets
whether its speeding or just strolling
its soothing somehow
call me crazy but i'm still gonna get
that beautiful ducati!

it ends here.

single-free

2007-11-10T11:25:00.000+08:00

the time has come

its back to one

no regrets now

put dat smile back on

lets have a great moment

its nice to lay back once a while

2007-11-10T00:20:00.000+08:00

everything still reminds me of u
and i still cant figure out why u chose her
mayb someday i will never know

i went back to Guthrie House today
kinda missed that place
i saw a couple of things though
i saw the love of a mother thru her eyes,
the way she looked at her daughter eating
i saw loneliness when she stares long and far,
with her face in her hands
i saw happiness when a friend comes along,
and her face instantly lights up
i saw sexy when she crosses her legs,
revealing her pink panties
i saw beautiful when she catches my eye,
smiling sheepishly back
i saw sweet when her face shows a hint of
naughty and nice simultaneously
lastly, i saw horny when my mind wanders
there, just by looking at her

i just realised
its been a long time since i watched porn
but surprisingly, it doesnt excite me
unlike mikesapartment.. haha..
arrgghh.. just fuck it!

wats so gud abt them?

2007-11-09T05:18:00.000+08:00

i hate it when...

i get asked for my ID when i buy smokes or booze
i get a 55 cents ticket instead for da amount i paid
i dun really understand wat da fuck is gg on
i get empty promises
u only call every night to ask me to go online
u tell me one thing but u meant another
u confessed on facebook how so in love u r with her
i see them in clubs
they wanna try to dance with every gal frens i dance with
i dun get drunk
everyone can read my blog
i am so fucken pathetic
people beat around the bush
i get stopped for wanting to do wat i want
i couldnt even last more than a yr in relationships
i couldnt even go up to a sweet gal n start a conversation
i couldnt get her out of my head
i couldnt make up my mind
but i do noe one thing,
they only roll chicks ard
ya.. i really hate them.
all of them.
just shut da fuck up and dun ask me abt this entry.
all of u.

sensible nonsense

2007-11-08T02:20:00.000+08:00

its funny how everyone starts contactin u
just because its a public holiday today
and they wanna chill out till late
i aint got any bucks
plus i'm shagged from work
so i'll just take da easy way out n stay in
i fell aslp for awhile
and now i cant sleep
my wound hurts agn and its itchy
i wonder if it hurts cuz its gettin better
or it hurts cuz its gettin worse
fuck sia.

anyways, work was kinda alright just now
i think i work better when i'm pissed
it even works for me in sports
i tend to drive my anger into da hole
cuz since its concentrated on only one,
its more precise and hits perfection

i wanna pamper myself this pay day
get a set of clothings, a few boxers,
service my bike, mayb get contacts,
explore places, go clubbin, dine in,
rent a car and eat ben&jerry's
sigh. but i need to save up too man
i've been working for abt a yr now,
i still haf not set aside cash for emergencies
only da savings insurance,
which can be taken out after a few yrs
damn.. time to think abt da future
even though i'm not sure if it'll come
but life is indeed ironic
when u dun haf money, nuthin much happens
but when u do...
its either ur bike gives u problem,
ur health needs treatment,
ur bills go up.
overall, watever u earn, will never be enuf
its so screwed up.

my friend once told me...
he used to get pissed at his dad
for not giving him more allowance
for school, everyday expenses and such
cuz u see, he is from a wealthy family
so he dun understand y he gets so little
or even was refused when he asked for money
to spend and enjoy when he goes out
even when he starts to get his 1st job at mac
his dad still requested money from him
he never understood till now dat he's matured
he finally realised his dad's intention
his dad wanted him to cherish money
to not take it for granted
and to not forget da gratitude of his parents
the amount dat he gave his dad
was just a measly sum compared to wat he earned
but his dad wanted him to realise
how hard it was to earn money
and to not forget to give his parents money
to make it a habit even when he grows old
so dat at least his parents noe he can support dem
once they are old and grey
its no point if u haf so many kids
but none of them can even support u
den dey r a nuisance to u instead of a blessing
...so now u noe...

make me

2007-11-07T00:36:00.000+08:00

i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go
i have to learn to let it go

just keep telling urself that
and soon u'll learn somethin else

frustration, desperation, aggravation

2007-11-06T10:27:00.000+08:00

i'm just ur average regular Joe
i haf feelings just like everybody else
yes, its not hard to explain to make u understand
but try to understand urself first
before u start scrutinizing someone else's life
put urself in my fucken shoes
and i'll still tell u...
u wont understand cuz ur not me
call me muthafucken stubborn
cause i fucken am
i dun want to think abt hope
i dun need fucken lies
i also dun want another friend
i dun even want pathetic sympathies
i dun want anythin of dat nonsense
not unless i noe for sure its a definite truth
there is one thing i do noe for sure
i really haf to fucken cool off
its so fucken easier said than done
i'm still bein used, thrown and recycled
dad's already askin me to look up da courses to take
but its not da fucken time yet
its not as simple as it seems
all of this,
not at all...
i'm losing it.
i'm just weak, as a whole.

u wont even understand!

2007-11-05T16:37:00.000+08:00

i'm fucken temperamental right now
everyone is like provokin me
firstly, i'm not who u think i am
u dun even noe a fucken thing abt me
so dun even assume u fucken noe me
stop pesterin me with ur msges
cuz i dun even give a fuck who u are
secondly, its not even my fucken fault
dat da fucken stitch broke open da wound
i'm wastin my own money for check-ups
so just shut da fuck up and let me live
its not because i bind or because of my bra
it was meant to happen
so dun even fucken think u noe wat happened
oh.. for ur info, its chest not breast,
stupid muthafuckers dun even noe English
i just need to be alone for now
i'm not gonna be a soft pussy,
who u can push ard for fun
i want all of u to hate me now
it'll be so easy, seriously
i'm this close to blowin up on somebody
i'll just blast it on my prisoners at work
i'm gonna be da biggest jerk u've ever known
i noe i've always been dere if u needed me
but who's actually here for me now
it doesnt make sense,
but yes, da world has always been unfair.
i haf abt a week to fully heal my wound
to go for my IPPT without training,
i dun give a fuck abt my injury anymore
cuz after that, i'd haf no worries left
i can always take it on other days
but i might as well take it
since all of them r gg on dat day
arrgghh, i dun wanna think abt it
i'm sick and tired of hospitals,
of bein broke at dis moment,
of everyone breathin down my neck
i'm bloody sick of everythin!

its always da private numbers

2007-11-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

i've got a prank call just now

it was fun to just play ard though

but i noe its no ordinary someone

i think i wont find out

i gave up on stupid jokes,

a long time ago...

if u do haf guts, i dare u to admit!